The Jackpot Question with the Crackpot Answers

The “How do I get big?” mystery is a hot topic.

It’s hands down one of the most common questions I get asked by my male clients at The BodyForge.

Of course, you get its other variations as well – most notably “how do I get bigger biceps?” or “how do I get a bigger chest?”- but basically every single red-blooded male in the gym, from the 260lb bodybuilder can bench press four plates a side to the pencilneck geek who weighs 90 pounds soaking wet, wants to get bigger and stronger.

Bigger is, after all, better.

Yes, in everything my dear, as Freddie Mercury was fond of saying.

Of course, once you dabble in it, this quest for size tends to turn into an obsession. Seeing that big is what they covet, guys not only want to get big, they want to get big fast. Who the hell wants to wait in this day and age?

Unfortunately, fast is not the name of this game.

What this means is that the situation can only get worse when the slow nature of this process is mistaken for stagnation by the new trainee.

And here is where you start getting this horrible over analysing that – after being exposed to it for 20+ years – tends to irritate the glittery sparkles right out of me.

 

WEIRD SCIENCE

I am talking about how the inexperienced trainee starts to wonder what he is doing wrong and starts to dissect his training in the most incorrect of ways.

What subsequently manifests is an obsession with the framework of the workout – the intricacies of sets, super sets, drop sets, negative reps, the length of the rest periods between sets in seconds, the correct number of reps, and, of course, the ubiquitous quest for the perfect joint angles, range of motion, position, curvature, movement depth and all the other incredible bullshit that the unseasoned seem to blame for their apparent slow growth and progress.

I mean, seriously, just last week I had this 20-year-old who had just come three times to work out asking me why his biceps weren’t growing!

Then he asked me whether it was the angle of his elbows that was the problem. Maybe he was flaring them out too much and not tucking them in enough. Maybe he needed to align them with his torso, and avoid too much upswing. Perhaps his wrist was not in line with the angle of his arms.

I kid you not. The guy had come in in three times. Three fucking times. Three workouts and the guy is wondering if his biceps are not growing because his fucking elbows are at 30° instead of 20°.

That’s over-analyzing at its most exquisitely teeth-gritting best.

So, let’s get one thing straight here. As fast as we possibly can.

There is only one truth to all of this. One universal reason which determines your progress-or the lack of it-in your quest for a better body.

 

THE TRUTH IS…

…YOU DO NOT GROW IN THE GYM!

I must have said this a million times over the years and even today I get met with this blank, uncomprehending look when I say this to someone.

No. You do NOT grow in the gym. You never do. You never have. And you never will.

The reality of it all is that you grow according to how much you eat, what you eat, and how much you sleep.

And there is no fucking around that fact of life. I don’t care how much you insist otherwise.

It’s what you do at the table and what you do in bed that counts. (I am assuming that most people sleep in a bed, but feel free to feel normal if you don’t.)

I have seen countless people come to the gym, train their hearts out, day in, day out, and then go home and wreck it all by eating shit and sleeping less than six hours a night.

That’s like buying a new Ferrari, taking it home, then scratching the hell out of the paintwork with a screwdriver.

If you are not dumb enough to do that, why would you do that your body?

Even worse, why do a lot of people simply not believe me when I tell them the truth about growing muscle and burning off fat?

Why does it have to be some esoteric, complicated fucking reason when something extremely simple is the truth?

So here is the short and sweet version of the truth.

What working out really does is give the muscle a stimulus to grow.

It breaks down muscle fibre so that the body can repair it to become bigger and stronger.

Lifting weights does nothing to actually make your muscles grow. That part comes later, after you have gone home, when you eat and give the body the nutrients it requires. And when you sleep so that the body can do its repair work using the nutrients coming from those meals.

It’s a very simple equation.

It’s great when you keep a daily log of all your workouts, whether you are using paper and pencil, or whether it is the latest and greatest app on your oh so sexy mobile phone.

All that data you are collecting means is that you know exactly what benchmark you have to beat at each subsequent work out, and what targets you have to set yourself to continue making progress.

But if you are not paying attention to what you eat, and not keeping a record of that, then, all you are doing is documenting the destruction of your body, and forgetting the very essence of what rebuilds it.

Without a record of what you are eating, how do you know what to fix?

How do you know how many carbs you are taking, whether you need more protein, or if your fat intake is correct?

THAT is what you really should be taking care of.

 

MEA MAXIMA CULPA

Okay, I’m not going to pick on anyone about this.

Back when I started over 20 years ago, I was just as guilty of this colossal sin as anyone else.

Back in the days of Pumping Iron, when gyms were few and far between, and when the Internet did not exist (yes, we didn’t always have the Internet you know), the only way for me of getting some information was either:

(a) to write a letter in long hand (just like the Flintstones) to some overseas shop requesting a magazine or

(b) to ask Big Jim at the local iron pit (if you were lucky enough to have a local iron pit and if Big Jim actually gave you the time of day) for some tips.

Unfortunately, one of these ways is very time-consuming and the other one can subject you to some very dodgy information. I am going to leave it up to you to figure out which is which.

Sadly, I wasted years of my training lifting for hours on end, six days a week, doing every exercise under the sun as well as those in Arnold’s “Encyclopaedia of Bodybuilding” and wondering why my progress was so painfully slow.

Of course, no one told me about the importance of food and sleep at the time, and it took me years of wasted effort to figure out how essential correct nutrition and good sleeping patterns were to achieving my goals.

Today, almost 23 years later, I really do not want to see anyone else committing my same mistake.

It’s a painful lesson to learn when learnt through your own errors.

And it’s truly an exercise in futility to learn from your own blunders when you could so comfortably learn from those of others. And save yourself so much time, aggravation and heartache.

Let’s get a few things straight, before some wise ass states the obvious.

I am definitely not advocating working out with pink weights and wearing spandex in the gym (okay, you can do it if it’s your thing – just do it somewhere I’ll never fucking see you do it).

You should always be lifting as hard and as heavy as you can with correct form (that means don’t do the fucking limbo and call it a barbell curl).

But when you stop progressing and start over analysing and thinking about joint angles and forced reps and super duper sets and spending hours a day in the gym, that’s when you really need a re-evaluation of what you are doing.

 

THE SIMPLEST ANSWER IS OFTEN THE TRUTH

You are not going to get bigger and stronger by overanalyzing. There is a reason why there is “anal” in that word.

Whenever you hit a plateau, I will always put my money on your food and on your sleep. You are either not eating enough, not sleeping enough.

Or both.

So after a good workout, make sure you go home, vacuum up as much food as you can and sleep as much as you can.

Then wake up, eat more, and try to sneak in an extra hour of sleep if possible.

You can definitely grow on 3 to 4 hours of training a week. I have done it myself and it works.

But there is no way you can grow if you are not eating properly or if you are not sleeping properly.

The reality is that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing.

Which makes most people, in essence, a threat to humankind.

Now that the Internet is available to all and sundry, people tend to read a lot of online “knowledge” and start mistakenly using that “science” in places where it shouldn’t be used.

Science is cool but not when you brandish it around like your first light sabre at a Trekkie convention.

To make matters worse, way too many people become dismissive when I point out a truth they don’t want to listen to. It’s seriously crazy how people will just drop you off their radar if you tell them something they don’t want to hear. They want me to agree with them and their chosen reason for their lack of progress and simply dismiss me out of hand if I dare come up with a different opinion.

Sorry guys and girls – that’s not how it works.

Learn to stick to the basics. They will almost never fail you.

Lift heavy. Eat big. Sleep lots.

That’s bodybuilding in a nutshell.

I can already see the hands going up in the audience so let’s start picking them off.

 

WHAT’S HEAVY?

Heavy is what you can get approximately 6 to 10 reps with, while keeping good form.

Don’t do 5 or 6 warm up sets and call them workouts. It’s the heavy set that counts. Yes, only the heavy set. So don’t waste your time warming up all day just to squeeze out one set.

No need to get anal about form. Just don’t fuck around too much, trying to impress someone with the poundages you lift. Get the weight from A to B without whiplashing it around or dropping it on your goddamned foot. Or worse, someone else’s.

If you can get 12 – 15 reps done, then it’s time to increase the weight.

Choose the big exercises over the little ones. That means, squat your heart out instead of doing endless sets on the leg extension machine. Bench press as heavy as you can instead of looking pretty doing cable crossovers. It’s the heavy duty work that gets the job done, not the mincing around on the fancy equipment.

Intensity will beat volume – every single time!

Take your body to a place it has never been and it will be forced to adapt and grow.

Eat. Sleep. Repeat.

That’s it. No shit, Sherlock.

 

WHAT’S EATING WELL?

That’s getting as much clean food down your throat as you can, keeping the protein high, the carbs moderate and the fats low.

And keeping the shitty food intake to a minimum of maybe once a week.

You know what I’m talking about. If you need to put on muscle, increase the calories with quality animal protein and good complex carbs.

If you need to reduce fat, reduce the calories, especially the ones from high GI carbs.

How complicated is that?

If your gut is hanging over your belt buckle there is only one reason for it. Stop blaming genetics, big bones, slow metabolism and that cranky gremlin who lives at the bottom of your garden.

If you eat shit, you will look like shit.

The old adage of “you are what you eat” is absolutely true. Take care of your food and your food will take care of you.

Go organic with a vengeance and try to find foods that have been raised or grown in as close to the natural state as possible (that’s grass fed cows and free range chickens).

Industry based farming is killing us all. A calf that turns into a cow in 18 months and a chick that turns into a chicken in 6 weeks are fucking abominations.

Ever wondered where all these cancers are coming from in this day and age?

 

WHAT’S A GOOD SLEEP?

Around eight hours a night if you can get them in. A little bit more if you can afford it, a little bit less if you can’t.

Sleep is where the magic happens.

So cut out the late nights, and the associated bullshit. That’s all there really is to it.

 

WHAT’S THE DEFINITION OF INSANITY?

It’s doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.

How many people do you know that have been going to a gym for years and yet look the same year after year? I can definitely name quite a few.

And these people just won’t listen to reason. Pretty funny when you realize they are the ones that need it most.

What a colossal waste of time. That’s nuts! If you are not getting results you can see in the mirror, then change shit around. Don’t keep repeating the same routine over and over and expecting a miracle to happen.

Because it WON’T!

Stop coming up with crap excuses or thinking it’s your elbow angle or your ass position or if you need more raisins and raspberries in your muesli, or that maybe you need to add some dodo eggs to your brunch.

The answer is simply your laziness and your disinterest.

 

KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE PRIZE

So don’t be that person

Make changes happen. Accept the fact that you need to work out as hard as you can and nothing good you will accomplish in life will be easy.

Everything good in life will require blood, sweat and tears. That’s physically, professionally, emotionally and spiritually. No shortcuts available.

So get on the coal truck and start shovelling.

The true stumbling block on our road to progress is consistency.

It’s damn hard work staying on track and focused all year round.

This is not just something you yoyo around with on a whim. You need to do this day in day out, week after month after year.

It is a lifestyle, not a phase.

Sure you can understand that on an intellectual level – but are you actually EXECUTING?

So, next time you plateau, cut out all the fucking around and think about the meals you are skipping, the training you are just going through the motions with and the nights you are sleeping late.

Fix THAT and you will be right back on track in no time.

Even better, get a mentor that will hold you accountable and lead you in the right direction.

That way you can focus on things that really matter in life.

Like being happy, spending more time with your loved ones, getting shit done – and having FUN doing it.

Try it out and see if I am right.

I double dare you to prove me wrong! Try it and let me know how it goes!

Now, let’s rock it!

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